Awkward high school social moments

My last series of posts were dark and depressing. Now for something amusing. I'm gonna write this quick though 'cause I'm in a hurry.

High school was full of awkward social moments. Two of them in particular come to mind. Both of them happened in the cafeteria at lunch. Both were about sex.

The first one, we were sitting with our regular group. I don't remember what we were talking about. Two of our group were looking at a magazine while the rest of us were talking about cars or some crap. Suddenly, one of the gals peeks up from the magazine and asks, very loudly,

"WHAT'S AN ORGASM?"

Cue the surrounding tables in our immediate vicinity going dead silent as all eyes turned to us.

"You...you don't know?"

"We live very sheltered lives. It's a word in this magazine. What does it mean?"

As a sexually inexperienced virgin, even I knew what an orgasm was. I didn't want to answer though, so I looked to the most sexually experienced friend of the group. She was too doubled over in laughter though, and everyone else at the table was refusing eye contact. So my BFF and I attempted to explain.

"It's with sex..."
"...when a guy makes you..."
"...happy?"

That was our awkward teenage explanation to explain to our sheltered friends what an orgasm was. When a guy makes you happy during sex. Which...I guess that's a fair explanation.

The second awkward moment involved getting a version of "the talk" from the vice principal. It was the same group at the same table, I think even during the same school year. We were talking about something we had read in the news. I don't recall exactly what the news article was, but it involved a younger girl and an older guy.

Friend 1: "I don't know why they didn't charge him with statutory rape. She's only 17!"
Me: "Well, the age of consent is 16, so they can't do that."
Friend 1: "No, it's 18!"
Friend 2: "In the state of Washington, it's 16."
Friend 1: "No, it isn't!"

This was an era when we didn't have information right at our hands; the most advanced things our phones could do was play Snake. So Friend 1 decided to call over the vice principal as he walked by.

Friend 1: "Hey, Vice Principal, what's the age of consent in Washington State?"

The vice principal gave us a concerned look. He had zero context for the question, and he grossly misinterpreted our reasons for asking, because he actually sat down at our table to give us "the talk"...

Vice Principal: "Well, it's 16, but you know, you girls should understand that there are a lot of factors to consider before you get involved with older men...."

I don't remember all of what he said because I was doing my best attempt to rip my soul away from my corporeal body and hide under the table. It was cringe-worthy. We politely listened to his lecture until he moved along, and then shot glares at our friend for dragging him into it. It's bad enough to get "the talk" from your parents. It's worse when it comes from the vice principal.