On traveling solo and finding your tribe

Since I am single with weird workdays off, I do a lot of solo traveling. This seems to freak people out. "That's not safe!" "You shouldn't do that!" "You're going to get murdered!" I've heard it all. People are so caught up in stranger danger that they think everyone is out to get everyone else.

Well, it's either solo travel or curl up in my bed and become a human burrito, so fuck it, I'm travelling solo.

I choose to believe that people are generally good. Yeah, there's weirdos out there, but they're the exception. Whenever I've found myself in need, strangers have come to help, whether it's a car wreck or whatever sort of emergency situation people want to help. I think people are generally good, so I keep an open mind when I travel, and that's how I find my tribe. Even as shy and introverted as I tend to be, I still manage to meet good people while I'm out and about.

On a trip to a tulip festival, I was at a brewery and made friends with the gal next to me. She was also travelling solo. We made fun of the sportscast show that was on the TV and discussed our favorite haunts along the I-5 corridor. Our time together was brief and we'll likely never meet again, but for those two hours we found solidarity and kinship.

Recently I went on my first solo camping trip. Next to me was a chapter of the Oregon League of Women. They saw I was alone and invited me over, and we spent the evening at their campfire sharing stories of our adventures. They were a tribe and they welcomed me in for a night, and I found with them a circle of warmth, safety, and camaraderie.

"How can you travel alone?" The secret is I don't travel alone. I travel by myself, but seldom do I find myself alone.

Try it sometime. Put down the phone and chat up the person next to you, wherever you're at. Actually speak with your Uber driver. Sign up for an event by yourself and talk to the people there. Embrace the adventure and the unknown. Talk to strangers. When you do, you'll find your tribe in places you least expect.

Started from the bottom now we're...here, I guess?

I know it's been a while since I've written. I got a lot of partial drafts of things saved but haven't had energy to write in months. But I've come to a crossroads and need to sort out my head.

I'm losing my job. Sort of. My company lost their contract with the facility I work at. I've been offered a new position with the new company stepping in to take over. This means I lose all my seniority and benefits with my old company and have to start over from scratch. I really love my current company and being forced to leave sucks. It's very frustrating and there's been a lot of crying and freaking out about it.

It makes me feel like a failure. Last year after my rent kept increasing, I had to downgrade between renting my own home to renting a room in a house with roommates, and losing the independent feeling I had living on my own. I've been single for months, choosing to focus on my career instead. Now, that's going down the drain, and I'm left trying to grasp for something meaningful in my life and coming up empty. It feels like everything is falling apart around me and no matter what I do, I just slip backwards.

But I've been here before. Facebook kindly reminded me recently that three years ago, I was recently divorced, pseudo-homeless living out of a motel on North First Street in a city where I was alone and knew no one, starting a career in a completely new field I had no prior experience in. I had no money as I'd drained my savings to make the move work, and my car had broken down on the drive over the mountain pass and was off in the shop for weeks. I was starting over with almost nothing, alone, and admittedly terrified.

Things aren't quite as dire, and I keep trying to keep that perspective. I have a functioning car and a semi-permanent residence. There isn't as much money as I would like in my savings, but I'm not flat broke riding on credit either. I've gotten three good years of experience in my new career, and I have a second income with the same type of work to back me up. I have good friends both in work and outside of work.

So, I can do this. It feels like I'm starting over, but I need to keep reminding myself I've been through worse. I might be hitting a reset button on the job, but I've still made progress in other areas of my life. This is just another chapter in a very long book, and I can get through it.

In the meantime, I am currently accepting all positive thoughts and vibes as I wade through this transition.