Interesting facts about Katt

My company has an upcoming symposium where we all go to Portland, get drunk, and take a bunch of continuing education classes. The getting drunk and the going to classes don't necessarily overlap (but they don't necessarily don't overlap either).

So, this was a conversation with my boss and a coworker the other day.

Boss: "Corporate wants us to submit fun facts about ourselves for the symposium."
Coworker: "What sort of 'fun facts'..."
Me: "...and what do they want to do with this information?"
Boss: "I don't know probably some teambuilding thing. I think they just want information like '[Coworker] rides horses' and 'Katt likes hiking' and stuff like that."
Coworker: "Oh, that's okay."
Me: "I do more than hiking you know. Hiking isn't a 'fun fact'. Tell them about the time I was involved in an international Timbits smuggling ring. That's a fun fact. Give Corporate that one and see what they do with it!"

Apparently, people think I do hiking and that's it! So I want to set the record straight and give you some more things that make me special, so you can get to know me better. There's more to me than hiking. For example:

• I was maybe slightly involved in an international Timbits smuggling ring. 
• I can use my boobs to get streets plowed in the winter.
• I once broke into a smoke-filled house to save a passed-out person from burning to death in a fire (but it turned out there were no open flames, just their extremely overcooked food that they needed saving from, and they weren't passed out from smoke they were passed out from alcohol so I didn't get lauded as the hero I thought I was going to be).
• I am really good at breaking into houses because my BFF in high school kept locking herself out of her house, and now people are disturbed at my ability to get into places that are locked.
• I know I can drink at least 10 cups of coffee and a Red Bull a day without dying.
• In Girl Scouts I learned how to build a campfire, set up a tent, and artistically TP cabins at other campsites.
• I once jumped off a flight of stairs because I thought it would be faster than walking down; technically I was right...
• I have a pet guinea pig I adopted when I found her in a trashed motel room. She's now seven and a half years old and might be immortal.
• I used to be deathly afraid of boats until my "friends" somehow talked me into whitewater rafting and threw me off the raft and I survived it.
• If you want to go with hiking, at least mention that I carry purple fuzzy handcuffs on my hiking back for inside joke reasons that I've long since forgotten. My trail name is "Kinky".

See? I'm a far more dynamic person than just hiking!