I don't think illegal aliens are illegal enough. Hear me out here. Now, there's a lot of right wing speculation about how illegal aliens are criminals and rapists and all this shit. I don't buy any of it at all. Not one bit.
Have you ever been on the highway behind an illegal? They drive exactly the speed limit to 5mph under. They can't risk getting pulled over, because that could potentially lead to deportation, so they follow all the rules perfectly and stay under the radar. Meanwhile, I'm stuck behind them, late for work because I stopped to get my non-fat sugar-free venti latte and now I'm honking my horn and tailgating them hoping they'll speed up. But they won't. They're gonna be so fucking perfect. They're gonna play the role of the perfect model citizen. In my humble opinion, they don't break enough laws.
Literally, they will not go above the speed limit ever. Let me give you a case example.
In high school, a couple of my gal pals came up to me because was the only one in our friend group who had a car.
Friends: "Hey we need you to drive us after school so we can beat up our boyfriends and dump them."
Me: "Beat them up?"
Friends: "It's okay, they're illegals so they can't go to the cops about it. They're cheating on us so we're gonna beat them up." [Ed. note: this is a horrible and atrocious excuse to beat someone up. The being illegal part, not the cheating part anyway.]
Me: "I don't know..."
Friends: "We'll give you $15 for gas money."
Me: "...so when am I picking you up again?"
Hey, when you're a broke high school student, $15 can go a ways.
So I picked them up after school and we drove to where these couple guys worked hoping to catch them after work, when we saw their truck leaving the parking lot.
Friends: "That's them! After them!"
They headed to the interstate, and I dutifully followed.
Friends: "Pull up beside them!"
So I pulled up beside them. There we were, cruising down the interstate. My friends rolled the windows down and were leaning out screaming at them. They rolled their window down and were screaming things back. Birds were flipped.
And then the car behind me honked.
Because we were going 50mph in a 70mph zone.
These guys had a habit of staying well below the speed limit, and our provocations did not change that in the slightest.
I sped up to the speed limit and passed them. We got off at the next exit, waited for them to pass, then re-merged onto the highway. I caught up and pulled up beside them. Again, windows rolled down, screaming matches ensued....HONK!
Passed them, took the next exit, waited for them to catch up, back on the interstate, screaming match until traffic backs up again, lather rinse and repeat.
This went on for 30 miles. They made no attempt to speed or evade us at any point. They just kept driving like perfect little law-abiders.
The best part happened when we finally made it to their apartments and parked.
Friends: "We're gonna go fight them but don't worry, quiet hours here aren't until 10 PM and they can't call the cops on us until then."
(Note: That's not how it works; only in our naive teenage minds did we think that's how it worked.)
The "fight" fortunately didn't progress past verbal. I stayed in the car; I was only the wheelman after all. All around, neighbors poked their heads out their doors to witness the verbal smackdown. I kid you not,the tenant of the unit I was parked in front of walked outside and watched for a minute, then went back inside for five minutes...
...and returned with a giant bowl of popcorn and stood there munching away while my friends dumped their now-ex boyfriends. As dramatic and serious a fight as we thought it seemed at the time, apparently the neighbors perceived it differently.
The fight went on until 9:59 PM. True to their word, at 10 PM they shut up and got back in the car and we drove off, being the considerate teens we were.
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