Thursday, September 7, 2017

Hide yo magazines, hide yo dildos

After a summer of sweltering heat, I finally got maintenance to come and put in some ACs in my house. It's the end of the season so it sort of feels like a moot point, but hey, they finally showed up.

So there I was, hanging out in mis-matched shorts and a shirt because it's too damn smokey to breathe outside, and the maintenance guy comes in. He looks around my living room to figure out where to put a unit, and then goes to the bedroom.

As he's looking around, I notice he glances at my nightstand...a nightstand adorned with a few books, a water bottle, and a bright purple dildo, because of course. Hey, I'm a single lady living alone! At that point it was too late for me to try and hide it because that would just be bringing attention to the dildo in the room. As soon as he left it was safely hidden under some pillows.

Then as I returned to sit down while the maintenance guys worked, I remembered I had a bullet on the coffee table! It was a recent acquisition, still in its packaging, and I think it wasn't as noticeable. At an inscrutable glance it looks like it could be an MP3 player or something. I hid it safely away.

That's when I remembered the other bullet lying on a shelf in the bedroom. I checked on it but it was safely obscured.

I might have too many toys lying about...

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