My absurd encounter with misogyny

The other day when my boyfriend and I went out for breakfast, the waiter did something that is so minor, but in my experience has so much significance: he put the bill directly between us. No assumption of who was paying.

I always notice and appreciate this. With my current BF, we're pretty even; it's a 50/50 chance of who ends up picking up the tab. With my ex-husband, I paid 99% of the time. I had to pay for all that shit (that's a rant for another day), and nothing was more annoying than when the server would hand him the bill and I'd have to reach alllll the way across the table to get the check (what, you think my ex was polite enough to hand it to me?); then when they returned it they would hand my credit card to my ex husband. My credit card, that said "Kathryn". That's not one of those names where mayyybe it could be a guy or a gal's name. That's a straight-up gal's name, and they handed that credit card to him. (If you know men named Kathryn, please share in the comments.)

That's a subtle, systemic sexism that is apparent in our society, though I've noticed it seems to be on the decline. But one day, I encountered straight-up, in your face blatant misogyny in the food court. It was so blatant it reached the point of being ridiculous and absurd, and here is that story.

Back when I was with my ex-husband, we were wandering the mall and stopped to get some pretzels. Of course I was paying. So we waited in line and when it was out turn, we walked up side-by-side to a pimply-faced teenage cashier. I found that interesting, because I think of misogynists as being old white men, but this was a young white man. This is why we need marches btw. This kid is the future and we need to stop it from spreading. Let me explain.

Ex-husband: "I'll have a pretzel dog and a medium drink."
Cashier: "Okay, your total is $X.XX."
Me: "Wait, I'm also having a jalepeño pretzel and a small drink."

The cashier looked at me with a confused look, as if I had just appeared out of thin air. As if, how dare I should be able to order my own food.

(As an aside, I've never been on a date where a man ordered food for me, but I have heard of this happening, and if it ever happens to me, I am so walking out on the date right there. It's my stomach, and I'm gonna order what I want to feed it!)

Cashier: "Um....okay, so $XX.XX."

I get my wallet and I hand the cashier my debit card. I mean, I physically handed it to him. The cashier took the card from me and looked at me square in the eye while he took it, then he looked directly at my ex husband.

Cashier: "Thank you, sir."

I'm thinking why the fuck is he thanking my husband when I'M THE ONE WHO HANDED HIM THE GODDAMN CARD TO PAY WITH?!?!

So this kid swipes my card, and then he tried to hand it back to my ex-husband.

I stepped in to take my card. "No, thank you" I said as I took my receipt and card and positioned myself directly between the little fuckwad and my ex.

The kid just looked at me with a confused frown. It was like he could not process why I was interacting as part of the transaction and not my ex.

It was so blatant it was truly absurd and ridiculous. It was also incredibly rude and I gotta admit it pissed me off. Even my ex was like "I can't believe the way that guy treated you," and my ex was a narcissistic douchenozzle so for him to notice someone being rude to me says something right there.

As I signed the card slip, I tipped $0.02. Enough to know that I wasn't absentmindedly leaving the tip line blank. Just enough to get the message across. I don't know if that thick-headed twat ever understood it. I never saw him working there again, though, so there's that at least.