So a month ago when I went to my grandfather's funeral, we went to Cathedral of Saint Joseph in Sioux Falls the day after for mass, which was honestly the first time I'd been to a Sunday mass in years because I work weekends and generally can't go. In fact I hadn't been since they changed the wording a few years back...apparently it's no longer "and also with you" now it's "and with your spirit". I'm behind on the times.
The church was gorgeous. It was so extravagant it makes you go "damn, that's a lot of money they spent on all that marble that didn't go to helping people in need". I'm all for pretty flourishes but this place really takes it over the top.
They do have a cool feature though that I really appreciate, and that's bottle openers in the pews!
"Hush," my mom whispered to me. "They're not bottle openers."
"Are you sure? Because there's a whole lot of Catholic guilt in this building."
My mom glared at me. But I persisted.
"I thought maybe I missed part of the story of the Last Supper," I explained. "Like, Jesus was holding up bread and was all, 'here is my body', then he held up the wine and said 'here is my blood', and then he picked up a Bud Light and his disciples stopped him there."
"It's not a bottle opener. It's a hat clip," my mom said rolling her eyes.
I still think it's a bottle opener.
Also apparently at least at the churches we went to there, the wine at communion is no longer a thing? I don't know if that's a regional thing or what but I was very disappointed. Overall my first mass in years was 3 out of 5 stars: decor was too extravagant, no wine, homily felt watered-down, but bottle openers in pews and a semi-hot ginger priest made me give it a couple extra stars.
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