I floated the river by myself (and fucked everything up)

So this week has been a sort of comedy of errors. My planned hike, a hike I have been looking for all summer long (it has a section of trail called "the Vertigo Mile" and that's awesome), was closed due to a wildfire. After scrambling to find a replacement hike, I found one with no maps, and going off just the directions in the trail description I got horribly lost for hours. Not lost where I couldn't find my way back to the car, lost where I kept losing the trail and couldn't pick it up again, because it braided and went through multiple campgrounds and was just awful.

The next day, I wanted to float the Yakima River from Umtanum Rec Area to Roza Rec Area, which everyone says is about a four hour float. I bought a boat and life vests and a cooler. As it turned out, my $35 inflatable raft that was a "three-person" raft, really was for one. My boyfriend decided to sit back. As I tried to launch, I got scared and decided to sit back as well and try again when we had more rafts. After all, soloing a four-hour float for the first time is probably a really stupid idea.

"Need some help?" a kid asked.

"Maybe," I replied, as my fat ass was pinning the bottom of the float to the riverbank.

The kid started pushing me out into the river. "What happens if you sink?"

"Uh, sink?" I said. Just then, I was pushed out far enough to float. The current suddenly grabbed me, and before I knew it I was sailing downriver. "Shit!" I called back to my boyfriend. "I guess I'll see you in four hours!"

I was off. I learned in the course of my float that I was sitting in my boat backwards. I also learned I was holding my paddles backwards. Some fellow floaters I ran into (literally, unfortunately) helped me with that.

"Is this your first time?" they asked.

"Yep."

"Geez, and you're all by yourself? You're brave."

"Or dumb", I conceded.

Things went well until we got to a bit horseshoe bend in the river. The same floaters who had helped me earlier were much farther upstream. I heard them shouting "*something* river!" at me. I couldn't make out at all what they were saying.

Too late, I realized they were saying "Left river!". The river was about to bend to the right. I knew this, and had been hugging the right side because I didn't want to be flung against the rocks in the river bend. What I neglected to realize was that there was an island the river forked around. To the left, the way was clear. To the right, a large tree took up almost the entire width of the passage.

I saw it, and I tried to correct, but the current and wind were too strong and I was too late. I ended up grasping at the plants along the island, being pulled down the right pathway. It was too steep for me to attempt to climb out and carry my float over the island.

Observing the fallen tree, it looked like there was just enough room for me to squeeze my raft through. Until this point, I was barely able to steer the thing, but I realized pushing forward through that narrow opening was my only way out. Okay, you can do this, I told myself. I let go of the long grass I was clinging too, got my oars ready, and aimed for the narrow opening.

Of course I missed. I mentioned I could barely steer, right? Instead, I collided almost dead-on with a branch poking out of the water. My raft spun 180, 360, 720....it was just spinning. I pulled in my oars, curled up in the fetal position, and let the current do with me as it would. I was utterly fucked at that point, and I just surrendered and accepted it. I had all my essentials waterproofed in a float-able bag, so worst-case scenario I could grab it and swim for shore (something I was reasonably certain I could accomplish in an emergency). The two beers I had drank further upstream I think also helped keep me relaxed and calm. I never panicked; I was just like whelp, this is a thing that's happening now.

My $35 raft did not pop, surprisingly. I was spit out back at the main river. I gave the folks upstream an "OK" gesture with my hands, and I continued on my way.

The current was swift enough that the four hour estimated float time ended up being less than three. Despite all the mistakes I had made, I had fun, and now that I have learned some stuff, I think I'll be able to have even more fun next time. I definitely plan on there being a next time! Just gotta remember to hold the oars properly, sit in the boat right, and when the river forks go left!

I brought my GoPro along (it's waterproof and has a floaty mount!), so I took some video (when I wasn't terrified and clutching my oars desperately). Here it is!

And here's a satellite view of the island I went the wrong way around (it's south of Lmuma and north of Big Pines campground):

The river flows right to left in this picture. I went through that narrower part. A tree had fallen across it.