Hitting my sketch limit

"Sketch" in this instance being "dishonest or disreputable", not the artsy kind of sketch.

Because I am cheap, I will put up with a certain level of low standards. Sometimes, I am pleasantly surprised. My old mechanic was located in the closest thing to "the hood" that Bellingham had to offer, with a dilapidated storefront, dour lobby, and what appeared to be possibly DOS-based billing software on his computer, but he was a spectacular mechanic who let me make payment plans for expensive jobs.

I worked in a cheap motel and have a tendency to stay in cheap motels. I lived in one on Yakima's N 1st Street (Yakima's version of "the hood") for two weeks when I moved over here. It was the sort of place you could tell that some of the tenants were staying more permanently than others. One morning at 2am, the people next door woke up with a woman screaming "No phones no credit cards! I told you no phones no credit cards!" as they practically threw their luggage down the stairs and into the car and peeled out of the parking lot. The rooms were clean though, they took my pets, and the "sauna of questionable cleanliness" was tolerable if you put extra towels down on the bench. I wasn't gonna complain.

I hit my limit the other day though. I moved into a house not far from a bar. It's windowless, with peeling paint and loose roof shingles on the outside. The only vehicles ever parked outside are pick-up trucks.

It was clearly the diviest of dives, but it was close by, and that earns it big points. I've been to plenty of dive bars, and if the location is good I'll happily return to one.

This place was too sketch, though. I pulled up with the boyfriend, and before we even got inside, we noticed the "Beware of Dog" sign in the window. I figured it was just sort of a tchotchke-esque sort of sign.

Not even kidding

Walked inside and nope, there was literally a big dog in there. The bar also smelled like they were completely ignoring Washington's smoking-ban. The TV and other appliances looked like they were from the 80's.

Worst offense of all: they had just closed the kitchen. At 6pm. Right as the Zags were about to start their NCAA finals game! How can you close the kitchen literally right as the March Madness final is starting?!?! (fucking Zags game fucking North Carolina fuck that game)

We went up the street to another bar. It was also a dive, but not like a scary dive like the first place. The people were friendly, there was mediocre food, they had multiple TVs, and they had pool tables and were having a free pool night. We met someone who works as a bartender at yet another dive who mentioned that the reason the dog at the scary bar is because the owner dude actually lives there in the building. Not in an upstairs apartment. Like, the bar is basically his house. Like, that's probably literally his kitchen and living room where the bar is. Like, the health department should have shut this place down ages ago. I actually had to check to see if they even operated a business license after I found that out (turns out they do).

Apparently, my Sketch-o-Meter has a limit, and I just discovered it.

Good news is the less-scary place down the street is still potentially within stumbling distance home. When I lived in Bellingham the bar was only a block away, however we used to stumble from the bar to Blockbuster (remember those?) where I would pretend to be sober while renting a movie (I wasn't fooling anyone) and then we would stumble home. If I consider the (slightly fuzzy) memory of that entire journey, the less-scary dive bar I found is within a similar range. I may have found my new place.

(Several years ago when "cottage kitchens" became a legal thing in Washington, I was reading about them and distinctly remember reading that you were allowed to run one with a pet in your home provided you had a clear closure system to keep said pet out of the food prep area. IDK about this guy's kitchen, but there sure as fuck was no clear closure to keep the dog out of the drink prep area at least, I can tell you that much.)