Haikus I wrote while drunk

I went to the Tailgater in Selah yesterday. It was the last bar in Selah I hadn't been to, and also the newest. It's less of a bar imho and more of a restaurant that has a bar, but I digress. I was trying to think of something to write for a post and decided to write haiku. The problem was I was sampling the cocktail menu at the same time, so you're stuck with drunk writing quality. Enjoy.

This is a haiku
Five syllables, then seven, then-
Shit I fucked it up

This booze is tasty

And it is very pretty.

This bar is alright.

My old job sucked balls

But my new one I enjoy.

Life is pretty good.

My dog's farts are rank.
What do they put in dog food
To make him stink so?

Autocorrect sucks.

I do not text about ducks.

Duck you to hell, phone.

Should I photograph

This food, or shouldn't I do it?

I'm gonna do it.

It was pretty decent food.

This place serves Coors Light.
That tastes like pisswater shit.
Do not drink Coors Light.

Macro beers are gross
But micro beers are heaven.
Hops make me happy.

Hurry eat the fries.
The boyfriend's busy texting.
Quickly eat them now!